The Long Road to LOVING and ACCEPTING Myself

We are all unique and have our own life stories to tell. A huge part of my life’s journey has been fighting obesity, and I would like to share my story with you. 

As many have experienced, we know that adolescence is a critical period for body image development because of the various social, cultural, physical, and psychological changes occurring between the ages of 12-18 years old. During my adolescent years, being "skinny" was important to me. Or so I thought. My adolescent years were heavily influenced by super models: Cindy Crawford, Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, Naomi Campbell, and Christy Turlington. The list goes on. If you didn't look like that or strive to look like that, then you were subject to social comparison, "fat jokes", and weight-related teasing and bullying. I felt like I was larger than many girls my age and that I was overweight. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. I was athletic, I was a tap/jazz/ballet dancer, cheerleader, and ran track. I was probably in the best shape of my life. 

Fast forward a little – 18 years old. I’ve made it through high school and moved on to Air Force basic military training. Helloooooooooo! I’m on fire – sit-ups, push-ups, chin-ups, obstacle courses, shooting machine guns, 6-mile runs in formation with 40 other girls daily for 6 weeks. Best shape of my life and still feeling self-conscious. It’s not like I had anyone to impress, but I still struggled with my body image. 

I completed boot camp and was assigned to my tech school in Wichita Falls, TX. Guess what? Wow, I was back in the real world with small freedoms, like ordering pizza. I didn’t have to eat every single meal from the chow hall now. I ordered pizza about 3 nights per week, ate it and gained 20 lbs. Uuugh. I was almost past the weight limit to be discharged back home to my home base. From here, my battle became a years-long war. 

My Struggles with Food Addiction

’I’ve always had a food addiction. Hunger, food cravings, unable to say no or turn food away if it looked, smelled, or tasted good. My mom is the best Southern cook of all time. I grew up eating delicious home-cooked meals. Meat, potatoes, veggies - fried, buttered, salted, sugared. And every dinner came with a roll and dessert!

I spent most of my life eating my emotions: Happiness, let’s eat! Sadness, let’s eat! Anxious, let’s eat! Worried, let’s eat! Bored, you know the drill – grab the chips and Pancho’s dip. 

If that’s not enough, let’s throw in my nursing career: potlucks to celebrate everything in everybody’s life, food brought in by medical reps, food brought in by patient families. Food everywhere. Tired, hungry, emotional – food fixed it. 

The rest of my weight battle in summary over the past 25 years:

1) Age 15-19: 140-160 lbs. 

2) Age 20-27: creeping up in weight constantly: 170- 190lbs.  

3) Age 28: became pregnant. Highest weight before giving birth to our son: 240lbs.

4) Age 29: post-partum. Lost down to 185lbs. 

5) Age 30-35: slowly creeping back up. Highest weight 245lbs. 

I was in imminent danger of having high blood pressure (essential hypertension), Type 2 diabetes, and had developed very high cholesterol. 

My Tried and Failed Methods for Weight Loss

Work out videos / Weight Watchers / South Beach Diet

✔ Gym memberships / Nutrisystem / Atkin’s Diet

✔ Phentermine / Hypnosis / Keto Diet

✔ L.A. Weight Loss / Intermittent “starving” / Mediterranean Diet

✔ Personal Trainer / Bariatric Surgery

I got to the point in my life that I no longer wanted to engage in social settings, I HATED shopping for clothes or swimsuits, I did not want to be in any photos, I felt ugly and fat. I felt less than. Nobody made me feel that way but me. Oh, except the jerk that I used to be in the military with that pulled me aside once and said, “Dixie. You’re too pretty to be this heavy!” I was too nice back then to give him my honest response. Oh, and the “you have such a beautiful face” comments. I hear that loud and clear - “Yep. You’re a biggun.” Or the one and only, “But you don’t look like you weigh that much. You carry it well.” Sigh. 

Finding Success with Weight Loss Surgery and GLP-1 Therapy